by Sue Roebuck
Dear Ms Roebuck,
I read your submission with interest but I have to tell you that I would not like to walk barefoot and hand-in-hand with it on a moonlit beach. Nor would I have sex with it in an elevator with the "stop" button pushed. Just as I couldn't take it out to an expensive, lobster-serving restaurant with a Latino band playing romantic guitar music at our table. In other words I did not fall in love with it.
Typical agent response.
(It's the "falling in love" bit that always got to me.)